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It’s hard being alone again

I am a pretty independent person. In fact if you ask my husband, he’ll point out sometimes I am stubborn about things just for the mere fact that I want to show that I can do things on my own.  For instance, if he tells me to do something, I flat-out will not do it because he “told” me to do it.  He knows this, and will occasionally be extra bossy just to push this REALLY big button of mine.

So when I came to the realization tonight that I actually miss him being around to be his normal bossy self it was kind of startling.  Especially since we have been apart for longer periods than this before.  Last year in my first trimester (yes the trimester when you are super crabby and grouchy because you are sick and your hormones are playing games with your emotional state) he decided to head to Brasil for 2 and a half weeks.  This did not bother me in the slightest and I welcomed him not being home. This meant I could go to bed at 7pm every night, and eat chicken wings from WingStop to my craving’s content.

So why the sudden change of heart? We are speaking more now than we did last time he went down.  Yes the internet connection is heinously choppy, we constantly lose connections, and are always saying, “Sorry, can you repeat that you froze/cut in and out.” But we talk for at least half an hour every day.

However this time around there are lots of decisions and preparation for Brasil to be done.  I have two cars to sell, baggage to pack, things to buy, and decisions to make. I have to figure out how to root, unlock, flash a European ROM, and not destroy my phone in the process before we go down.   If I weren’t married would I feel cheated out of the support of my husband? Probably not.  But now that I know I have someone to lean on, to do the things I don’t want to…I miss that. I miss that he always took out the trash (yeah I COULD do it, but I hate to do it).  I miss that he liked to be anal about lists and what needed to be done and in what time line (if he reminds me of this post in the future while trying to manage me to one of these lists, I will of course claim no recollection of this particular item).  Again, yes I could do that, that’s kind of my job at work, but I don’t want to… because well that’s my job at work and this is my personal life.

I also feel cheated, I guess, because part of me knows I COULD be in Brasil if things just moved a bit faster.  So now that I’ve waxed poetic about how dear my husband is to me because of all he does for me, here’s the mini Brasil move updated:

  1. Automatic Car purchased at a car dealership.  Unlike America you cannot take home a car same day, so hubby gets the car Wednesday (Merry Christmas to him). Car dealerships will also sell your old car for you on consignment, so this is what we will do when we leave. We figure we’ll get all but $5,000 R back.  What type you ask.. well a Toyota of course.
  2. We found the apartment of our dreams, after some finagling with his HR team they’ve agreed to guarantee for us.  See the apartments rent is almost as much as my husband’s monthly salary… haha (his Brasil side monthly salary… the other portion comes from the US).  Either way, the HR team now makes fun of him because he lives in an apartment worth as much as he makes.
  3. My husband now has his RNE and his CPF. So he’s legit now.

About scrubgrub

I'm just another soul on the internet, posting random thoughts into the ether, because well I love stumbling on other peoples random thoughts, so I figured why not add mine to the mix too. I'm also the mom to two very funny little boys, and how can you not share that with everyone?

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